drown in

its been a week ive been lazing around..
yeah..
spring break is here..
so i decided to go to the city!!
it was hell of a week before break, i need something, some place, someone to cheer me up!
i woke up at 6am jz to loiter around sydney..
HAHAHAHA! it was worth it, tho..
took a bus to circular quay n hopped a ferry to manly beach!!

********************************************************

MANLY BEACH!

strolled along the beach..
watched handsome, tough, gorgeous guys surfing..
took lots of pictures.. :]
wana tell u guys some story behind the scene while camwhoring --->
while i was gona take a picture on some rocks along the beach, there were two dogs!
(u know, im scared of DOGS! hell,u can say im phobia of dogs)
their owner was sun bathing..suddenly, the brown n big dog ran towards me!
AAAAAAHHHH!!!! i screamed like there was a rapist about to rape me..
HELP ME!!! I'M SCARED OF DOGS!!
the dog, out of blue, stoppped n stared at me..
maybe he ( i jz assume its a male coz its fu*king ran towards me like he was looking at a beautiful princess or something..HAHAHA) thought i was his owner!
bloody dog!
nasib baik la kau stop n x gigit aku!
cett..
sgt takut ok..
he went back playing (doing watevs they did before) with the other dog..
phewww!
it was sooooo close!
my last resort was jumping in the water behind me!
it was a great experince, tho..
dog becomes my number one enemy in the world!

before that, there was another incidence when i was strolling along the beach..
there was a huge white n black dog sniffing my back!
hate dogs!
nasib baik x kene baju lg..
klu x, kne samak da!
HAHAHA..

SYDNEY CITY - Darling Harbour n other places

enjoying the city scenics from opera house..
went to chinese garden, saw ppl kissing down their throats publicly..
enjoy watching dat too! free show!
HAHAHA..
went to mamak n ordered teh tarik, cendol n chicken murtabak..
sedap la..coz its been 8 months i didnt taste any malaysian food which totally tasted like mamaks in malaysia..
it was a very long q..
the restaurant open at 5.30 n we came at 5.10, but stil i was d second person to q..
it still worth d waiting! hilang kempunan da :]
loitered in ernst n young building..

before dat we all stopped at paddy's market..
window shopping n stuff..
n we went to game arcade n played!
sgt2 best!!
we played n we get gift ticket which at the end i could claim gifts..
i got 144 points of gift ticket!
i claimed a piggy bank, bracelet n pocket game!
it was so much FUN!

***************************************************

i wish i could have dat moment over n over agn..
feel like i was a kid agn..

that's all for today's entry..
enjoy life, peeps..
till then!

reality is scary

haaa....im in a deep, big pool of stress!!
yes..
stress!
i have 2 tests this thursday; ECON241 and DEM127.
i have no idea wat we have been through for d past 6 weeks in ECON241 lectures..
what i mean is, we barely understand what d lecture talked about..
her greek accent is killing me!
n easy things turn out to be the hardest parts of all!
y cant her teach us the easiest way??
y make things complicated??
now i need to dig out my STAT170 notes to understand n to match all the skills & knowledge i learnt last sem with ECON241..

second major problem is...
i gain weights!!
maybe some of u think it is just a minor flaw..
to me, i lost one chance of happiness n confidence..
from 45kg, i gain 7 kilos in 6 months!
hell~~
i realy dont know how to loose this flat tyre around my belly n thighs..
this double chin n chubby cheecks..
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~
mcm mane ni!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


not to forget, happy eid mubarak, peeps..
i wana take this chance to seek forgiveness from all of u..
lead a happy healthy life people..
stay young, stay cool :D

toodles~~

nothing much

nothing much..nothing new..
im sick of it, yet im still chasing it..
WTH..
ppl said,waiting is d best thing I can do rite now..

yeah rite..
nothing is the best for now..
to me, it is new even its already over..
it is the past but im still waiting for it to be in the future..
i hate it..

it's best to leave it behind..
promise to urself, mira..
leave it behind..
for it may forever stop chasing u n ur life..
stop..
n promise to forever stop thinking bout it..


p/s: i hope i'll never remember what it is..

ripple effect

da byk hari di ats dunia ni, byk juge ilmu n pengalaman sy dpt..
with more knowledge gained, means im getting dumber than before..
y is dat so..?
well..
i do feel so n i know so..
because its me..

i know me but still not enough..

i cannot sleep well..
i let myself indulge in the spree of reflection-ness..
full of dark spots on the mirror, need to be cleared..
sigh..
tired..
im thinking of looking at the stars thru my window..
i look up n there...
i see the moon..
saying goodnight to me..

oh Allah..
You create one thing dat ppl dont really want it so much..
ppl always look for things they dont get..
but dat one thing You created actually gives ppl more than they actually need..
ppl jz need to think deep n reminisce things they already had..
how ppl cannot be so grateful to The Creator..
dont ask for things dat u dont know it might hurt n endanger u in the future..
Allah has the best plan for us..
jz work things up n do our part..
say a prayer, close ur eyes n beg for His mercy..


How i could be so ungrateful..
moon is so much better than stars..
even if stars can be so much beautiful, brighter, bigger than moon,
but looking from my window, it could be so much better jz to look at the moon..
if i wana see the stars, i might have to go outside n might catch a cold n have a better chance of not going to class tomorrow..

sometimes,
it could be a small thing happen in your life,
but it might have a ripple effect that u might not even think of..
grab the opportunities that might not have given u a greater impact,
but think..
it might have given u less hassle n danger n risk n etc.
AND it might have given u much greater impact in other doings..
believe in Allah..


have a good day, peeps!
toodles~

fake the funk

sometimes I'm only faking d funk to survive in dis life..

its not d main topic for today's entry..

i'd rather have some small island for me jz to find more than calmness..
haiz..smlm n harini kinda sucks..
i feel like crying n i dont think all dat stinky probs deserve any drop of my tears..
i can be smiling all day without u know wats in my lil heart..
sy x berkira n sy masih lg mncuba utk x berkira skrg..
don test my limit..
I could be the meanest person u ever met..
tolongla..
sy pon ade keje sy sndri..
i hv tutes to be done too..
i need my own time to revise things too..
please...
jgn smpy sy jerit tengking2 kt "org berkenaan"..
jgn sbb ade maid kt uma (kt malaysia) da jdkn certain org cm kuli batak kamu pule yer..
I'm so lenient rite now coz I hope "org berkenaan" boleh la jd org btggungjawab..
ni cm da kndang babi da tgk..
da bersih mst jd cm pigsty balik..

maaf..
xde perkataan elok I can use..

kemalasan pon de tahap ok!
jgn malas sgt cm per..
org laen sume de keje..

easy

I wish it could be much easier than this..
Its juz one of my past chapters in life n it can be such a good reference in future..
Hoping but no great effort been made, is hoping in a very stupid way..
I hope n I do my part, then Allah will absolutely see dat I work hard enough, for my wish to be granted..
If things didnt work out, dont go away from the right path as I may turn out to be worse..
To be good (real good), I hv to be persistent..
To be dat persistent, I hv to accept many things, good or bad..
I hv to say "no" to many things..
I am trying..
Dont push me too hard; so i can change, from bad to good..
I am trying more than u know..
U may not see..
But I jz believe in Allah as He is the only one can see im changing..
Its not easy, not dat easy as some of u pushing me like it can be transformed in a minute..
I mean that it - dark side of me..
U can be so judgemental but it's me..


Have a good day ppl! to muslims, selamat mnjalankn ibadah puasa :)

facades of many things

ok.
last night i called my mom..
for d first time in my life, my mom cried bcoz im away for too long.
yes.
she said she cant wait any longer for me to come home..
biasanye sy yg nangis sbb homesick..
ni da terbalik..
i miss u too, mak!
penat pujuk die.
she has disease called "rindu anak2"..
awe moved to perak coz she got a job offer there..
ude comes home every weekend but mak still misses her..
my bro once a fortnight balik n still not sufficient for mak..
along comes quite often but only for a short time, then leave..

see...
sayang seorang ibu kpd anak2 x berbelah bagi, sntiasa berlebihan..
tp mampukah kite sbagai seorg ank utk syg mak mcm tuh skali?
i cried las nite before i slept..
rse x tenang tinggalkn mak kt malaysia..
even sy byk gaduh ngn mak,tp sy adalah org yg mak plg rindu..
sbb even gaduh2, sy mkn ttp nk mak suap..
ptg2 spend time ngn mak..
pg2 brekky ngn mak..

but..
i become much stronger to be independent..
i wana stdy hard so i can get a good job..
nk jd boss..
so i can have more time to be with my parents..

one more thing..
i may look disgustingly normal..
but deep inside, only Allah knows..
i love to listen to all problems and help, but sometimes i also need help..

Ya Allah,
sesungguhnya Kau Maha Mengetahui. Kau tahu seberape byk dugaan yg aku boleh tanggung. I know I can do nothing without You. bantulah aku ke jln yg benar..give me strength..give me opportunities..show me d best way to eternity coz in the end, i wana be with You..

Semoga hari2 yg mendatang mengajar n membimbing aku ke arah kebenaran..

Especially for ADI

You see the worst of me in your head
I see the best of me inside your eyes
But look hard in your heart
You will find me deep inside
You may not notice me loving you all the time
I always believe you will find me in love rhyme
For it might be later or before long you know
Anytime; autumn, summer, spring or snow
I can see your face when i close my eyes
Imagining how I could even tell lies
Lies that almost drifted us apart
Which I could possibly break the love art
Love art that has been painted itself since last 2 years
The beautiful painting that portrayed us
It was half damaged by my foolishness
Like huge wave hit the fortress
Fortress that protects your trust
Scathed trust and believe burned to black crust
Then I just realized one thing
"I have to stop dreaming"
"I cant have two men in my life"
Coz I ended up to be in a bee hive
Bees busied stinging me physically and emotionally
I found myself smothering down in an alley
You without hesitant came out of blue
You hold my hand and give no more clue
I promise not to cheat on you and on your soul
But I'm just an ordinary person dat is so less-ful
I owe you a mountain of apologies
Please..
Please..
I love you and i dont wana lose you anymore
Dont you ever walked out of my heart's door
Coz it might close forever for you......

YOU

i walked out of the door, walked out of ur life..
u never called me agn, never agn called me sweetpie..
i miss u more than my heart can tell, much2 more till u don wana know..
u blamed me, like i was d whole problem..
u are my whole-life problem, yet i still want u..
till now..
badly, desperately..
it was ur fault too, but i don care coz i love u..
u cast me out of ur life blatantly..
i was so confused n furious till i couldnt see..
i could see u but i couldnt look hard enough..
were u looking down upon me, coz its so rough..
i searched my heart deep down..
but nothing i have found..
im always hoping dat i could look into urs too..
see wat its like in ur lil heart till u hv guts to do..
do things dat make me lost my woo..
its hurting me n worn me off to deep blue..
im cold n i keep running back to u..
u owe me many things, answers n promises..
answer me clearly n don ever think about ur heart pieces..
u jz hv to remind urself dat u never give me any peace..
please, please, please..
let me live happily jz once, if more than 1 is too many for u..
y don u jz be frank to urself n to me..
i still feel d weird heartbeat now, like i was with u, jz u n me..
im not hoping dat u feel d same way..
coz i'll jz end up hurting myself like d old days..
like how u treated me aftr we splitted..
and now..
left me alone with my heart waiting to be fixed..

caroline

sy bsiar-siar dgn adi ptg td..
we met caroline..

who's caroline?
:)
caroline adalah seekor kuda yg sgt comel..
i dont know wats its gender but wen i called it caroline,,it followed me :)
it made all my probs flew away..
all conflicts, keep coming back wen i arrived home..
but thank God..
even it was jz a moment with caroline, i don care..
coz it really made me happy!

adakah sy penat ngn manusia?
sometimes..
penat sgt..

i wish i could have a horse, my own horse..
n i can call it caroline..
bila sy da kaye n ade kelapangan,,
i want to buy a beautiful, feminine, yet strong black horse..
:)

i jz love horses, like i love cats..
they are so adorable n understanding..
even they cant speak human language..

esok2 klu sy bsiar2, sy akn jenguk caroline lg..
i missed caroline already :(

::kawan::

hari ni sy hepy!
hari ni sy jmp liyana..
kwn sy yg sy knl mse form 5 kt tgb @ clasmate :)
we had a good laugh..
i jz realize how cute she is!
untung hosni ye :)
liyana makin cute coz die seriously da kurus..
cute?cantik kot!
:)

sy rndu sme kwn2 lme yg sy x jmp!
especially TGBrians n BPians..
i wish i could meet em everyday!
i told erin once,
"i suke ade sikit kwn coz i leh spend time byk2 utk dorg..klu ramai sgt nnt takot ade yg kecik aty klu sy x pay attention to em like d others.."
n i love to keep it dat way..
sy lg comfortable dgn kwn2 yg terima sy seadanye..

bile sy nk bbual, dorg akn stop buat bnd2 laen n i can talk to em for hours, klu dorg xde wat bnd pnting..
bile sy nk peluk dorg, they'll be there for me, even sometimes most of em jz give a mutual hug :)
bile sy sedih, dorg org pertama yg hidu kesedihan sy..
bile sy gile2, dorg akn try gile2 jgk cm sy menggile..
bile sy ssh, dorg akn try to be in my shoes n listen tolong mne yg mmpu..

sy juge akn sedaye upaye utk ade n jadi cmtu utk dorg..
sy xnk mention mne2 nme..
sy takut ade org kecik aty klu sy terlupe nk mention..
sy ssh nk bkwn..
org akn kte sy sombong coz sy ssh nk snyum dgn org yg x knl..
dgn org yg x knl, sy prefer tunduk je, xpndg muke dorg..
byk org da tegur sy bkelakuan cmtuh..
bkn sy x cube, tp da snyum tp dorg yg x snyum balik..
sy cukup pantang klu cmtuh..

sy ngade2 ngn org yg sy da rapat jer..
bkn sy pilih kasih, tp sy takot dorg xleh terima nnt..
sy x suke bile de kwn lempiaskn marah kt sy coz sy pon sdaye upaye utk x marah dorg bile sy moody..
wen i become such a hideous bitch, sy akn byk bdiam..
jgn tkot nk approach sy coz sy x mkn org..
makin sy peluk de la n nangis byk2..

sy bkn seorg kwn yg cukup baik tp sy akn sdaye upaye jd kwn yg baik..
maaf klu kamu sume rse sy x mncuba..
but i really try my best..
maaf klu sy bkepit ngn adi je..
some of u cm menyampah tgk ktorg asyk bkepit je..
tp die die bkn stkt boyfriend je..
sbb die seorg kwn yg plg baik sy pnh jmp..
he is one of my closest friend..
sy boleh tmbuk2 die, main pakau, sembang2..
ktorg bleh je ber"aku kau"..
selalu je cmtuh..

oopss..sy mention die bkn nk jd seorg yg pilih bulu ye!
contoh yg boyfie bkn boyfie je..

yg penting..
sy syg kwn2 sy..
even sy tau di klgn kwn2 sy yg x brape nk syg sy.. :)
haha
sy x kesah..

yg penting..
sy appreciate kwn2 sy..
even sy de gado ngn sorg kwn sy yg sy pnh appreciate sgt..
sy xtau nk wat ape ngn die..
bcoz now is so different..
die ssh nk maafkn org even punce gado tuh dari die.. :)
sy tetap nk bek ngn die..
tp mcm mne?
haiz..
salah sy juge coz xtau nk pujuk org..

appreciate n syg kwn anda semua sblom ape2 yg buruk trjadi..
true friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until it be lost..
cheers ppl!

awful

i couldnt describe my feeling right now, started like a week ago
certainly something more of like a state of psychic tension occuring in some forms of mental disorder
too many things cramp in my head
things vigor to be released in a very good manner
apparently,ppl are always longing for the good consequences of what they've done at their best
so do i
i hope i did my best

tawakkal
insyaAllah

in a very awful state of mind, im capable of:

1) punching someone in d face, twice, till my knuckles hurt; damn hard!
dont ever test my sanity if i was in a deep grieve, sad, anxious
u'll never know wat i can do right away, before long

2) crying before i totally asleep at night
wen i wake up, u can see how much my eyes can be very red n about to come out from its sockets

3) having mood swing like monkey never stop swinging
u can see me frantic like volcano eruptes wen d morning bursts
u can laugh along wen i giggle non-stop
n at any second u can see me having no expression at all

hafiq: hoping for d best, expect d worst.

what r u capable of wen u r in an awful state of mind?
wen u think it over n over agn, its not dat awful :)
its jz, u need to express it or hide it or pretend its never gona happen or etc.
right?
watever it is, put faith in Allah as He is the greatest n most powerful of all

toodles!

undisputed fact

korg mesti de habit pelik2 time kecik2 kn?
well..
I've got a number of funny acts wen i was a child.

1) sy sgt suke gesek(rub) tumit kt karpet sampai melecet..
xtau la nape.
even mak marah sbb bnd tuh melukakn diri sndiri,
i jz loved to do it!

2) sy suke stare lampu kt ceiling lme2..
weird huh?
sbb tuh mate sy rosak..
kot.

3) sy suke conteng dinding dgn kapur.
wen i draw ppl, i love to picturize d inner parts too!
get wat i mean?
like boobs n such.
i was the best at imagination wen i was a kid.

4) sy suke men beskal tga2 hari.
after lunch, after my mum was taking a short nap,
(mse tuh tggl mak n i je kt uma coz bro da skola time tuh)
sy akn tolak beskal sy snyp2 n pusing2 kt kwsn perumahan sy.
n dsbbkn jatuh beskal dlm longkang, kepale sy kne jahit.
habis gaun biru (which was my damn favourite!) kne darah.
tp sy x nangis.
mak sy je yg panic sgt.

5) sy suke men plasticine n wat karipap or burger.
then sy suke letak kt verandah uma,kt tempat pns.
konon2 cm masuk dlm microwave la.
kinda stupid tp cm bes.
plasticine tuh cair n melekat kt lantai n mak marah sy.

6) sy x suke mainan indoor sgt.
i prefer outdoor games.
sy suke merayau ikot abg sy.
men guli, galah pnjg, men beskal, men scooter,baling selipar,mnd ujan,men kt paye.
sy cm jantan sket.
x suke men ngn pmpn sgt sbb nnt dorg majok2 sy x suke nk pjuk.
tp sy de besties time umo 3-4 taun.
pmpn.
x igt da nme die.
ktorg suke men competition nyanyi2 cm Asia Bagus!
its kinda singing talent show bak then.
nyanyi kt luar uma die coz uma die cm de pondok kt luar.
nyanyi ats meja.
pastuh umo 5 taun,die pindah mne ntah.

7) sy suke tgkp spider kt bunge raye n simpan dlm casette case.
hbs tmpt cassete bapak sy.
sbb abg sy pon suke tgkp.
klu bapak sy mara, ktorg amek kotak mancis.

haaa...wat about ur cute story?macam bangang sket bile igt balik. its fun,tho. kalau org tny sy suke zaman yg mne, sy akn slalu ckp sy suke zaman sy kecik2. a memory is always be a fact!

random

Yeah..my life now is kinda relaxing n tranquilizing
without any schmuck who could possibly hurt me anytime,anywhere :)
Alhamdulillah..

Today is 1st of July
this means dat we are half way to 2011..
time flies, like spacecraft is shooting for d moon :)

Since last 2 days, its been under 0 degrees celcius
yep2!!its negative; after midnight..
macquarie sgt sejuk till i put my gloves n socks on before going to bed
me no likey!

anyway,,i love these few days at home..really love it..Alhamdulillah~~

rindu la :)

today i woke up a bit early than usual..
hidung ni tersumbat lg..sjuk sgt..selsema lg..
haiz..hate it..suddenly i miss my mum..
rndu nk brekky(means brkfst,shrtform org oz) ngn die..
we'll talk a lot during brekky..gelak2..haiz..

rndu lg..

rndu nk mnje2 ngn ayh..balik keje,ayh mst bwk ice-cream..
die akn tau bile ice-cream hbs coz pg2 die bkk fridge check..
baskin robin!!woot..woot..!pastuh jajan! (jajan tuh junk food!)
sbb bile tgk tv, i love to eat sumthn..duduk kt celah kaki ayh, tgk kotak de gmbr..

rndu lg..

my bro yg akn bwk i jln2..we'll share secrets n hv fun!
kt kopitiam ker, mamak ker, JJ tebrau ker,,kluang mall ker..
dok lepak ngn mmber,catch up things, tgk movie, bowling..
die yg akn ajr bnd2 hi-tech ni coz aku rabun IT sket..haha

rndu lg..

my ude coz she'll talk a lot about global economics cm die PM..
haha..nice, tho!sgt2 advance die tuh..cm JFK! semangat..
she's d one schooling me at home..de private tutor gitu..
haha..she loves to shopping too..bes shopping ngn die..
tp jrg coz die bz jer ngn keje..sbb tuh x kawen..
die kte, "laki yg kawen ngn aku kne 'atas' aku..xnk aku de laki yg cuci kaki jer masuk uma aku.."
haaa..itu la ayt die..scary tp btol gak tuh..pmpn de hak nk pilih..

rndu lg..

awe yg suke cari psl ngn aku..xtau pesal die suke sgt amek baju aku..
tau la baju aku sume santek..hahaha..
but klu nk citer psl gurl things,,die la pakar!
she taught me a lot,dari cm bangang psl bnd2 pmpn ni smpy la skang..
tp x pro lg..huhu

rndu lg..

my along..she gives me inspirations to become a very carrier woman..
not to brag,but she is now a manager..she is very mother-alike to me..
she gives me all d supports i need..die nmpk garang but she is a very leniant..
sgt2 lembut hati dlm semua..

rndu lg..

ank2 sedare aku..dorg yg lyn aku bile tme aq childish nk mampos..
jgn terkejot,,aku mmg suke tgk catoons,even da ulang byk kali kt disney..
aku suke men ngn dorg ptg2..
men badminton ker,,ikat2 rmbut dorg,men make-up ngn dorg..
citer2 mlm2 ngn dorg,,gelak before tido, klu dorg overnite kt uma aku..

rndu sume............

note: teringat ni pon sbb tbe2 je teringat tme brekky ngn mak..hmm..mis u guys..mmuahh..flyin kis utk dorg..

seriously

I hardly BELIEVE these facts:
1) I am now 20. Yes. Number counts but I'm still young at heart :)
2) I lost my ATM card.
3) My first final exam here in OZ has just ended and I'm not that enlightened.
4) I'm not going to Melbourne this winter break and I jz dont wana go. No other reason.
5) I jz get over something :)

There you go bluffing. Sometimes nature does not have a solid point to explain to you when something happens. That something happens maybe jz for our own good in future, for it may not have a great n strong reason at present. Dont be sad. Sometimes things dont have subtle ironies for u to think so deep. Jz let it happens and let it helps you gaining confidence or be more careful next time or u might have to find other good friends to accept you, at least your weaknesses as well as accepting others', indirectly.

Dont go whining or complaining or telling all people in the universe bad stories about other people. It is simply not healthy and jz make things worse. It is jz ok if u wana pour out things that has been making u sad n worried sick, to people whom u might think he/she will give u advise n soothe u. Let us see a bit more close, if u go telling all people about others' behind their back, will it be any good? Dont u think people will alienate that person? If it is damn true that person is very bad, are u good enough to judge people that drastic? People who do bad things, doesnt mean u can label em as a bad person. Naturally, homo sapiens love to see other homo sapiens from a bad angle. WTF.

Well, come on. Dont speculate things like this world is under ur rule. Nobody likes to be speculated, especially by ones who did bad things too. Nobody is perfect, right? If u speculated wrongly about people and sadly, because of ur bad mouth, other people have alienated that person. And thing becomes even worse, that person becomes more rebellious and will not turn to any good, because of you n ur stinky mouth! Possibly, that person will think of commiting suicide or do bad things that others will not think of. Do u think alienating is good? F, no.

Seriously.

I learnt a lot since I got here; real friends, back-stabbing friends, stinky-mouth friends, etc. I need to pep up to learn more things. We have to learn bad things as well, to lead a good life.

it happens all d time

uncertainties.

im jz doin okay but i miss my frens in malaysia. ok. i miss em,badly.
cant feel any strong bonds (even with malaysian) like i do wif my frens in malay-land.
yet.
hope to get oneS.
which is many.
need to be friendlier.
hope so.
but it is against my nature.
need to change dat bad attitude.

i col my mum every week n spend almost an hour each time. i miss her.
my dad too!
its creepy wen u starts to miss everyone.
it means u need to be stronger than ever.
seriously.
if not, u hardly survive ur life.

m a bit uncertain.
in mny things.
i really need my parents and besties wen im about to make a decision, even a simple 1.

in exams, i jz do watevs dat are logic and appear to b reasonable to me.
nothing much.

sometimes, all things jz keep revolving around me.
damn!
hate it.
it made me think too much n end up hurting my own feeling.
silly.
but its me.
who cares.

ok.enuf crapping as i need to get bak to my piled-up-books-yet-not-open hours.
lots to be done for d last 2 papers!
good luck to myself.

u too!

cheers buddy :)

wake up call

Am i dreaming?

i feel so bad..i don even think dat im stepping on d real world..whats happening?

1)poor Palestine..mny ppl hv talked bout it n i will say no more coz its all true..we hv to study hard n alwys be there to fight against who are against us (muslims), pray for d best.

2)my final exam is jz around d corner which is next week. hafiq quotes, "hope for d best and expect d worst"..i liked dat quote so much..yeah!i expect d worst coz dis is my 1st final exam in OZ land..but insyaAllah i'll work out so hard for dis coming final,which is nxt week,on thursday.

3)m trying to get my life straight n well-lived..coz m thinkin too much lately,,how i'd been a jerk..n wana b more mature n more thoughtful than ever..

so guys,,wat bout u all?so awaken?hv a nice day,buds!

closer T_T

ignore dis post if u nvr felt d hard-to-forget love..but d date is getting closer..May 25..every yr,its hard for me to not remember dis date..its getting harder n harder now..

well, m jz getting too emotional since May 25, 2006..but if u happen to stumble upon my blog,,I'm S.O.R.R.Y, ku amirrul rahman..sumtimes i have to let it out of my chest coz its already fulled and it makes me hyperventilated..

dis is wat i feel:

Takkan lagi aku menunggu
kau hadir di dalam mimpi-mimpiku
puasku mengharapkan dirimu
seperti mereka yang punya cinta

Diriku tanpa dirimu
kau tempuhi penuh bahagia
diriku mahu kau tahu
pedih ini kau tak terasa

Warkahku mengharapkan dirimu
seperti yang aku kenali dulu
setiaku menantikan dirimu
seperti setianya terhadap diriku

Tapiku melepaskan mu
melangkah namun tak berdaya
terusku terus menunggu
cinta yang takkan pernah ada

what's WRONG?

yeah..it has something to do me..
wat is wrong wif me..?

its been 2 days in a row..

I DREAMT of my LATE SISTER (angah)..
in my dream, she looks hepy n always helping me..

#1st dream: she was helping me to find a baju kurung for my other sister's wed n she got loads of baju kurung inside her wardrobe..(mcm semua tone of colors ade..). she gave me a cyan baju kurung n asked me to wear it..kinda weird..

#2nd dream (las nite dream): my Along passed away n i was so grieved..n wen i came home, i saw Angah n she was eating,wif her husband..she smiled at me n i immediately ran to her n cried. she hugged me tite..

i dont know wat is wrong to me..

maybe my nose bleeds more than a week,,every morning..im not scared n i don wana seek doctor. is dis sumthing to do wif angah?hmm..i don know..Allah surely knows, though.

********************************************************************************
5 years back: angah suddenly had her nose bled n my mum was so worried..mak forced her to do medical check up n angah refused mak to go with her..she wanted to go alone, so she went to d hospital alone..n it was 8pm but she was not home yet. mak started to worry. mak called her many times but no one picked up d call.. my mum ceaselessly called her n someone was on d line..it was angah n she cried non-stop. mak da jd panic n mak tny angah kt mne. then, she said, "angah xnk balik,mak...angah ade cancer.." my mum even more panic..mak sowh die balik n sejam later,die balik da..both of them cried, ayah diam je dari awl mak bgtau..

n 1 year n few months later: angah passed away..

now u interpret it urself n digest it n try to be in my shoes..

till then.....

follow me

PLEASE DO NOT FOLLOW ME..

PLEASE..

FIND OTHER UNI,,NOT D SAME UNI AS I AM IN NOW!!

its kinda annoying n u r my great competitor..u were d first 1 n u will always b!

hate u!!!

get d hell out of my life!!adoi..sy sgt x suke la..jgn ikut sy lg..

sy da letih nk compete ngn org sprti awk n family awk..

pergila..tolongla~~

uwaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

a LOOSE END..

yesterday,my fren told me dis one disgusting joke,yet uber-funny.

here it goes:

a guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. he orders a drink and while he's drinking, d monkey starts jumping all over d place. d monkey grabs some olives off d bar eats em, then grabs some sliced limes n eats em, then jumps on d pool table, grabs d CUE BALL sticks it in his mouth n swallow it whole!

d bartender screams at d guy, "did u c wat ur monkey juz did?" d guy says, "no, wat?" "he juz ate d cue ball off my pool table!" says d bartender. "yeah. dat doesnt surprise me," replies d patron. "he eats everything in sight, d lil twerp. i'll pay for d cue ball n stuff." he finishes his drink, pays his bill n leaves. two weeks later, he's is d bar again, n he has his monkey wif him. he orders a drink n d monkey starts running around d bar again.

while d man is drinking, d monkey finds a cherry on d bar. he grabs it, stick it up his butt, pulls it out, n eats it. d bartender is digusted. "did u see wat ur monkey did now?" "now wat?" asks d patron. "well, he stuck a cherry up his butt, then pulled it out n ate it!" says d bartender.

"yeah. dat doesnt surprise me," replies d patron. "he still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate dat damn cue ball, he measures everything first!"

******************************************************************************

hope u have a gud laugh..release urself from any stressful fastens :) i nearly blew my stomach having dis joke! gud remedy for 1-month away finals awaits for me....weeeee~~~

hormat

de satu kejadian yg amat menyakitkan hati yg tulus mulus ni..

aku kuciwa!!uwaaaaaaaaaaaa~~walaupun bkn aku yg mngalami,,but i can tel,i love to observe..

kejadian ni ditimpa oleh kwn aku..hmmm..knp manusia sng melempiaskn amarah kt org laen..aku tidak suke even aku kdgkala buat bgitu..but hey,,klu skjp n marah kt semua org xpe..jgn nk pilih2 bulu plak!aku tau la bulu2 kwn aku ni sgt cantik ok...tp geram bile tgk si polan melempiaskn nafsu marah kt kwn aku ni sorg je..mentang2 la ea ko kaye,,ko pandai (ktorg pon pandai la!kot..huhu) tp jgn senang2 nk underestimate org yg x suke nk marah balik!

Allah tuh Maha Adil!

aku bagai nk menitiskan air mata ni..kesian aku tgk kwn aku yg sorg ni..even die x rse pape,,tp aku cukup sensitif bai..sedarlah wahai si polan..jgn senang memperlakukan org sebegitu skali..tidak sopan..hormat la semua org..aku tau..ni peringatan utk diri sndri gak..jgn belagak diri tuh sempurna n baek sgt,,xde sape agung selain yg Maha Esa..

Think n be considerate to others coz others have feelings too..

marilah same2 kte berfikir..jgn pndg org luaran shj..tolongla..buka mata..buka juge minda anda semua..aku kalau sedih lagi aku suke pikir dalam2..haiz..maafkn keganasan n kekasaran dlm blog kali ni..aku cume da letih dgn sikap org yg budget sempurna..

feeling good?

i feel good..

i help people n they appreciate it..

i feel good..

when i immediately feel bad if i hurt people..

i feel good..

i jz befriend with people i hate the most..

i feel good..

i love my parents n they love me bak like always..

i feel good..

i keep myself from thinking bad bout people..

im jz feeling good,,ppl!!
peace!
thank God for giving me dis feeling :)

think back

las nite, i dreamt of u..

ur frens bullied me but u did nothing..

i hated u so much,in my dream..

will someone tell me y do i keep dreaming of him, by d tme i totally forget n ignore him?
WHY?????
plz..tell me why..

indulge in reminiscence..

wHaTeVeR it takes..

im so not in d mood to update dis blog..
sory guys..
ive got plenty of times n could spend a milli second to write, yet,,i jz love to sleep..
yeah..d weather ere is jz nice for me to doze off.. -.-
thank God..He gave me such a "lottery" n flew ere,,to aussie..

but hell yeah,,to get dat lottery is not an easy task..
we must constantly endeavour if we are to succeed..
WHATEVER it takes,,i mean a good path to succeed, not a bad one..

mny ppl asked me wats d best thing about aussie..(to me,got lots of uber things ere)
1) beautiful people - friendly,kind-hearted..u wont feel awkward ere..1st tme i stepped on oz land,i feel jz like msia..becoz i feel comfortable ere..

2) transportation - don sweat urself if u wana get from one place to another..u still need to know at what time the transport depart and arrive,though..coz transportation ere are all quite punctual..

3) environment - i love d environment ere..soothing me..myb becoz ere is different from msia..ppl need to go to other places which have different environtment,,jz to feel the greatness dat God created for us!

4) if u wana "mencarot" loudly in malay,,nobody cares coz most of them dont understand..hahaha..lame but yeah..its quite true..release tension!huhu

5) garage sales - got plenty of garage sales which u can go to get things at a very2 cheap price..even they sell used things,,most of them are still in a very good condition, some of them indeed, still new!

6) electronic gadgets - eg: xbox n ps2 are cheaper ere than in msia..huhu..my house got both of em..oops..huhu~

7) chocolate - heaven dude!!!i like to eat choc n ere got mny types of choc dat u can choose!
.....n lots of things i cant even think of.....

things i don like ere
1) postage service - some of the postmen jz take their jobs lightly..they jz don deliver d goods (parcels) in front of our house..we need to go to the post office itself to claim the parcel..

2) here in macquarie got limited of halal food..especially pretzels!im craving for pretzels!!!but im stil grateful coz they r not dat limited..got halal mexican stall,though..

3) there is plenty of food n d weather is jz nice 4 us to hibernate - dis conditions make u fat!i gained a lot since i got ere..haiz..me no likey!!!
.....so far,only these i can think of.....

but still,,i miss malaysia..

I LOVE YOU, MALAYSIA!!

offset

m jz feeling so empty rite now..

wat m i thinking..

wat have i done..

im losing myself..

anything i have rite now is jz to counterbalance my pathetic life..

now,,simple things can do us apart..nothing to be worried, nothing to care..

i guess, we hv our own way now..

may God bless u..

no matter wat,, I Love You! til death...