ripple effect

da byk hari di ats dunia ni, byk juge ilmu n pengalaman sy dpt..
with more knowledge gained, means im getting dumber than before..
y is dat so..?
well..
i do feel so n i know so..
because its me..

i know me but still not enough..

i cannot sleep well..
i let myself indulge in the spree of reflection-ness..
full of dark spots on the mirror, need to be cleared..
sigh..
tired..
im thinking of looking at the stars thru my window..
i look up n there...
i see the moon..
saying goodnight to me..

oh Allah..
You create one thing dat ppl dont really want it so much..
ppl always look for things they dont get..
but dat one thing You created actually gives ppl more than they actually need..
ppl jz need to think deep n reminisce things they already had..
how ppl cannot be so grateful to The Creator..
dont ask for things dat u dont know it might hurt n endanger u in the future..
Allah has the best plan for us..
jz work things up n do our part..
say a prayer, close ur eyes n beg for His mercy..


How i could be so ungrateful..
moon is so much better than stars..
even if stars can be so much beautiful, brighter, bigger than moon,
but looking from my window, it could be so much better jz to look at the moon..
if i wana see the stars, i might have to go outside n might catch a cold n have a better chance of not going to class tomorrow..

sometimes,
it could be a small thing happen in your life,
but it might have a ripple effect that u might not even think of..
grab the opportunities that might not have given u a greater impact,
but think..
it might have given u less hassle n danger n risk n etc.
AND it might have given u much greater impact in other doings..
believe in Allah..


have a good day, peeps!
toodles~

fake the funk

sometimes I'm only faking d funk to survive in dis life..

its not d main topic for today's entry..

i'd rather have some small island for me jz to find more than calmness..
haiz..smlm n harini kinda sucks..
i feel like crying n i dont think all dat stinky probs deserve any drop of my tears..
i can be smiling all day without u know wats in my lil heart..
sy x berkira n sy masih lg mncuba utk x berkira skrg..
don test my limit..
I could be the meanest person u ever met..
tolongla..
sy pon ade keje sy sndri..
i hv tutes to be done too..
i need my own time to revise things too..
please...
jgn smpy sy jerit tengking2 kt "org berkenaan"..
jgn sbb ade maid kt uma (kt malaysia) da jdkn certain org cm kuli batak kamu pule yer..
I'm so lenient rite now coz I hope "org berkenaan" boleh la jd org btggungjawab..
ni cm da kndang babi da tgk..
da bersih mst jd cm pigsty balik..

maaf..
xde perkataan elok I can use..

kemalasan pon de tahap ok!
jgn malas sgt cm per..
org laen sume de keje..

easy

I wish it could be much easier than this..
Its juz one of my past chapters in life n it can be such a good reference in future..
Hoping but no great effort been made, is hoping in a very stupid way..
I hope n I do my part, then Allah will absolutely see dat I work hard enough, for my wish to be granted..
If things didnt work out, dont go away from the right path as I may turn out to be worse..
To be good (real good), I hv to be persistent..
To be dat persistent, I hv to accept many things, good or bad..
I hv to say "no" to many things..
I am trying..
Dont push me too hard; so i can change, from bad to good..
I am trying more than u know..
U may not see..
But I jz believe in Allah as He is the only one can see im changing..
Its not easy, not dat easy as some of u pushing me like it can be transformed in a minute..
I mean that it - dark side of me..
U can be so judgemental but it's me..


Have a good day ppl! to muslims, selamat mnjalankn ibadah puasa :)

facades of many things

ok.
last night i called my mom..
for d first time in my life, my mom cried bcoz im away for too long.
yes.
she said she cant wait any longer for me to come home..
biasanye sy yg nangis sbb homesick..
ni da terbalik..
i miss u too, mak!
penat pujuk die.
she has disease called "rindu anak2"..
awe moved to perak coz she got a job offer there..
ude comes home every weekend but mak still misses her..
my bro once a fortnight balik n still not sufficient for mak..
along comes quite often but only for a short time, then leave..

see...
sayang seorang ibu kpd anak2 x berbelah bagi, sntiasa berlebihan..
tp mampukah kite sbagai seorg ank utk syg mak mcm tuh skali?
i cried las nite before i slept..
rse x tenang tinggalkn mak kt malaysia..
even sy byk gaduh ngn mak,tp sy adalah org yg mak plg rindu..
sbb even gaduh2, sy mkn ttp nk mak suap..
ptg2 spend time ngn mak..
pg2 brekky ngn mak..

but..
i become much stronger to be independent..
i wana stdy hard so i can get a good job..
nk jd boss..
so i can have more time to be with my parents..

one more thing..
i may look disgustingly normal..
but deep inside, only Allah knows..
i love to listen to all problems and help, but sometimes i also need help..

Ya Allah,
sesungguhnya Kau Maha Mengetahui. Kau tahu seberape byk dugaan yg aku boleh tanggung. I know I can do nothing without You. bantulah aku ke jln yg benar..give me strength..give me opportunities..show me d best way to eternity coz in the end, i wana be with You..

Semoga hari2 yg mendatang mengajar n membimbing aku ke arah kebenaran..